Martwayne | Power Through Fashion: The Appalling Sales Technique of Making Money off People's Insecurities! >-(

Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Appalling Sales Technique of Making Money off People's Insecurities! >-(

I have written this article several times in my head but felt the need to think clearly before getting to my keyboard else you will feel the raw anger coming through.

I find it completely appalling the way businesses try to prey on people's emotions and insecurities all in a bid to make money!   Over the past year, I have read with disdain several marketing campaigns from various companies blaming women for being the reason their husbands have cheated on them or why their boyfriends left them for "skinnier" women.  

It appears gone are the days when selling a product or service is about trying to make people feel good about themselves and rise to the top of their careers.  It is now about using emotional blackmail and idle indirect threats to make their target market, particularly women, buy what they are offering by hook or by crook!

Take these 3 captions for example...

... much as I would like to quote the exact phrases, I will not since my issue is not with the companies themselves but with how they are going about their sales campaigns.  The truth is what they are selling does make sense, but do not make it seem like if Mrs B does not buy your book or your product, it is, then, her fault that her husband cheated on her.

Oh yes... back to the 3 captions:

1.  If you don't buy this weight loss book, then your husband will leave you for the next skinniest girl that comes along (trust me... the exact phrase was much worse and  soooo overemphasised that I just got irritated and backed out from the purchase);

2.  In this issue, "How to Use Your Wardrobe to Keep Your Man"... or something along those lines; and

3.  You have been wearing the same bra for 2 years, no wonder your husband is out chasing other women!

Like seriously?!  What exactly is that all about?!

I actually took No 3 up with the person who sent me the broadcast because I took it very personal.  How dare you suddenly blame the woman for her husband's infidelity?!  What happened to "for better or for worse?"  How is it that these sales companies are shifting the blame from the men to the women?!  And how can women actually get themselves sucked in by such hogwash?!

What happened to:

-  "buy this weight loss book, feel great and bring the romance back into your marriage by taking your husband back in time to the days you first met"; or

-  "change your boring wardrobe and get your mojo back!  Remember 'ambition is the new sexy' and you will get there with a brand new wardrobe!"; or

-  "get that sexy bra and bring your cleavage back to stir him up in the right places.  Remember... bright and perky is the name of the game".

... or something along those lines.

Trust me, I believe women are not that stupid.  If they are having issues with their marriages and relationships, you will stir them to action.  NOT slapping them in the face for what was not their fault in the first place.

Besides, men!  Have you ever had a conversation with your women about how they look?  Have you ever told them if they don't change, you will cheat on them?!  Why let the companies do the dirty work for you?!  And how can you even justify cheating... for whatever reason?!

I recall a training I was at last year when a man complained that since he got married, his wife has stopped exposing her chest and her legs and he is concerned because that's what attracted him to her.  And I asked him, "have you discussed this with her?"

And ladies...this is the point where I begin to attack you.  

How can you let society dictate to you what you can and cannot wear?  What you should and should not wear?!  I remember when I was getting married, a close friend of mine told me "there are certain expectation of you as a married woman" and I thought it was hogwash!  Let your husbands or boyfriends do the complaining not society!  The same society who you listened to are now coming back to blame you for listening to them.  Like seriously?!  Does anyone ever own up to their responsibilities around here?!  Why must everyone play the blame game?!

Only 2 days ago, I was looking at my waist line and was worried that if I didn't find a way to control it, my clothes would not look good on me anymore.  That is what it should be about!  Looking good and feeling good about yourself!  When you do what needs to be done to bring your confidence back, then people are attracted to you.  If you are insecure, that transmitter is sending out those signals so strongly that every radar around you is picking them up!

Honestly ladies....

And don't let any company trying to take your hard-earned cash bully you into parting with your funds either!  Do it for yourself!  Only God's grace and lots of prayers keep families together.  After all, how do you explain a man who cheats on his spouse with someone whose physical features are not even up to a tenth of what you have got?!  

I just heard a story about someone last week.  His wife in such a stunner that there really is no comparison between her and the lady he cheated on her with that I still wonder what he was thinking!  

So really, sometimes it is not about you.  It could be about the other person and his issues!  A cheating man will always cheat no matter how many weight-loss books you buy or hours you spend at the gym.

Besides, it just might be your insecurity that could be the greatest turn-off of all... or your attitude!  

And similar to what Christina Aguilera said in her song, always remember that...

You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says.  
Never let people's words and actions bring you down!

I'm not saying don't take care of yourself.  PLEASE DO!  It is vital to keep the spark alive.  I am sure you would hate it if your boyfriend or spouse suddenly started growing a pot-belly when it was his 6-pack that drew you to him in the first place.

But please don't let anyone threaten you with an idea or a notion that anyone will leave you.  Yes it might be a reason but it is never a good enough reason for anyone to disrespect you or cheat on you!

And don't you ever forget that!


  1. what an inspiring write up, one thing i have come 2 realise is that d best way anyone can knock u off balance is by taunting with ur self esteem, ones dey get that, dey get u. beauty is more in d inside than outward, that is why ugly girls(so 2 speak cos i dont tink anybody is ugly) get married b4 d pretty ones, d reason is bcos dr beauty (unseen)radiates from d inside which carries more force of attraction dan d seen. one thing i will not do is 2 buy a book that is threatening, i mean, u shld cajole, entise and probably sweet talk me into buying ur book, design, or magazine & not d oda way around. u know y? cos life is full of alternatives. and for pete sake! u cannot change a man's mind by changing ur bra, wordrope or pant! thats cheap blackmail! change of attitude can help, cos ur altitude determines ur altitude, a right attitude can change ones perception abt u. i just thank God i havent really paid attention to some of those ads. i would hav been more furious. thanks T. for sharing dis, it really helped.

  2. Thanks for writing this Tee. My point is why should men be justified for their lack of self control and immorality. A real shouldn't cheat on his woman for ANY reason. Some say they don't find their wives attractive, interesting, loving ANYMORE: this means there was a time they found them attractive etc, my question is did they ever commend their wives for being attractive..some wives don't even know what their men like. To the Men- appreciate ur wife wen she looks good, commend on her size and she knows that she shouldn't grow bigger or smaller than that. Its so interesting that some men told their wives to grow bigger and @ the end they are first to complain about how big the women have grown. To the money making ones, you don't have to pull down the women if you are really tring to help. Whether u wear new bras every 30secs or starve yourself, a man that will cheat will cheat. To the women, be confident in who you are and how God has made you. Lack of or low self esteem is what's affecting most women and this is really important. We shouldn't allow anyone to make us who they want us to be and not what we want to be. We end up fraustrated When we leave who we are while trying to be someone else. Find and know yourself, know what you feel good in and what won't make u feel good, if u need 2 slim down, work @ it and not with words alone. I go out with my husaband and most times, am being refered to as his younger sister(lol) cuz I am petite and I haven't still decided to eat all the food in the world, why? Because I love my self just the way I am.

  3. You guys totally hit it spot on! It's just pretty shocking that many people fall for it and worse, blame themselves for their spouses' or boyfriends' infidelities while the companies smile to the bank.

    Yes everyone has their dull moments when they feel insecure about one thing or the other... but making a change needs to be about you and not about someone else.

    Not surprising why some people live with depression everyday and there's none to talk to when everyone makes them think it is their fault.

    I recall a while back a popular personality was accused of cheating on his wife. Now I don't know if it was true but what infuriated me was a comment made by one of the very ignorant readers who, referring to the man's wife said something along the lines of:

    "Look at you. You have a fine husband and you cannot even watch your weight. Why won't he cheat on you?! "

    Honestly if that person had been in front of me, I could have slapped him / her! All he has done is transfer the blame from the man to the woman! Like that is the issue at hand.

    Yet we live in a society where the man is allowed to grow a pot belly you can see 2 minutes before you see his face and ladies are supposed to live with it. It really is very sad!

    I am glad the article helped. And I am hoping ladies who may be drawn to this or who may have fallen for this cheap trick can now make better decisions when making purchases.

  4. Well Spoken Tope. Its high time ladies win the battles in their mind and walk with their heads up for no matter what you do concerning a cheating spouse, if God isn't on ones side its a lost battle. Believe in You and always ensure to retrace your steps back to where it all started in every relationship.

    1. Touche! Thank yo so much Anonymous! Need I say more...


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